


kiss me on my back

by paperlighthouse



Series: spotify shuffle @ 3am (song fic collection) [2]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Codependency, Emotional Numbness, Extended Metaphors, Falling Out of Love, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Metaphors, Poetic, Short, Songfic, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:47:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22040536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperlighthouse/pseuds/paperlighthouse
Summary: “You won’t leave me, will you?”Minho watches him. Blankly, void. Brambles of moon flowers grow, constricting his throat. Travel down to wrap around his heart, enter arteries just to mess with him. Minho reaches for him, hands hanging in the air. Chan slides across the sheets to wrap his arms around his lover. Fire licks at the thorns, soothes over the bleeding of his singing veins in a way only scarring can. He presses his nose to Minho’s neck, and breathes in the smoke.inspired by beabadoobee’s “disappear”
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Series: spotify shuffle @ 3am (song fic collection) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1536622
Comments: 5
Kudos: 11





	kiss me on my back

**Author's Note:**

> this is in the same universe as “I know where to lay”. you can find that as part 1 in the “i need u” series above, but can also be read alone. though I would rec the first part bc it gives some insight to minho's character _and_ I’m really proud of it :^) can you tell i'm having a lot of fun using metaphors and writing pretty things?
> 
> instead of trying to create a heart wrenching emotion like halsey’s “eyes closed” in pt.1 creates, I went for more of the numb feeling that by beabadoobee’s “disappear” creates for me. fun fact! that song was inspired by the movie “The Internal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” which is an AMAZING movie!! I would definitely recommend it and this song too :)
> 
> honestly, i'm not completely satisfied with this but i just want to let it go so i can move on to writing other things :) i do hope you enjoy it~

_Kiss me on my back_  
_Tell me all your fears_  
_Cause the rest of love is gone_  
_And I’m trying to find out why it disappeared_  
_How you disappeared_

“Chan?”

Chan opens his eyes. Minho watches him. Watches him. His face is cradled against the back of his hand, neck stiff from laying on his side. Moonlight coats his tongues, coaxes anything pretty from his throat before Minho can ask.

“You won’t leave me, will you?”

Minho watches him. Blankly, void. Brambles of moon flowers grow, constricting his throat. Travel down to wrap around his heart, enter arteries just to mess with him. Minho reaches for him, hands hanging in the air. Chan slides across the sheets to wrap his arms around his lover. Fire licks at the thorns, soothes over the bleeding of his singing veins in a way only scarring can. He presses his nose to Minho’s neck, and breathes in the smoke.

“Of course not.” The aching stops, stills, the moon shines. The fire in his arms is carried into sleep, and Chan waits till morning.

Kisses his neck. Kisses over the bruises Minho came back with. Came back to him with. Came back, came back, came back.

Sun breaks, moon sinks.

Minho wakes, Chan falls.

_I looked you in the eyes_  
_Don’t feel nothing here_  
_Cause the feeling of the love that I use to have_  
_Yeah, that shit’s disappeared_  
_Yeah, that shit’s disappeared_

Minho burns him when he’s with him. Coats the insides of him with pink white scars, maps lighting strikes down his torso, wraps around him like a blanket of static. He's always on fire around him. Lit, awake, burning. He doesn’t think it’s possible to be awake without him.

When Minho leaves, takes his fire away with him, he _leaves_ him. Leaves him alone.

In the cold. In the Winter. Frost growing on his soles. The moon talks, whispers. 

But he comes back, always comes back, comes back relit with that fire. Comes back and crashes against him like he can’t felt it. Twists Chan to fit against him, groans like thunder, burns like lightning. Leaves him buzzing, trembling.

Minho comes crashing back to him like gravity.

_Do you remember our love in November?_  
_That shit was so real_  
_But there’s patches on my fingers that won’t heal_  
_There’s patches on my fingers that won’t heal_

Chan doesn’t wake to Minho slipping out the door, he wakes to a wet, cold storm tossing in Minho’s chest. Hands over his eyes like guards. Gushes when Chan slides his hand against Minho’s side. He’s cold, cold, cold, cold. There’s no fire, no glowing embers he can stoke with a press of lips, or hope he can hand to when Minho leaves for kindling. He hates it.

Minho’s with him, but he isn’t burning. 

Chan wipes Minho’s face with his hands, forearms, smears rain clouds across his face. There isn’t even a spark.

Minho pulls his limbs down, tying their hands together. “Chan,” His throat closes. Chan’s heart thrums with a thunder. “Chan, I don’t _love_ you anymore. You know that, right?” Minho rests a hand on the swell of Chan’s cheek. Minho doesn’t watch, it doesn’t seem he can.

“Are you leaving me?”

Chan pulls his hand away from his face and to his chest, presses his palm against him beating heart. He’s trying, he’s trying so hard to feel anything. A glimmer of a flame, a single spark to completely tear himself down, a heat to chase till he couldn’t breathe. _But he can’t._

“Minho?”

His lover pulls away, cowers in his arms. And cries in the darkness.

_(please come back_  
_please come back_  
_please come back_  
_please come back)_

_(why’d you have to fucking disappear?)_

Did you know, that space doesn’t have gravity? That the endless stretch of nothingness won’t hold onto you, because it can’t? That it’s so cold you’ll freeze, that there isn’t even air for you to breathe through a tied throat? In space, fire ceases to exists.

They weren’t gravity, or maybe they were at one point. But Minho couldn’t burn in nothing, couldn’t create fire out of moon rocks and gray dust. There was nothing keeping Minho to him except Minho himself and the image of Earth printed on the backs on his eyelids,and the ghost sensation of oxygen in his lungs.

And when Chan discovers the Sun, sees them together across time and space, positively _burning_ with warmth, he can’t say he blames Minho for leaving him. For running away from the moon for a burning star.

Because, the sun can't shine with the moon. Can it?

**Author's Note:**

> feed me comments u ghouls. im hungryy.
> 
> if you really liked this fic you can like/retweet [ this tweet](https://twitter.com/milkmurk/status/1213598777778397184) which gives some visuals, a short summary, and a link for this fic. or you can add it your fic rec list on twt if you have one :)
> 
> [ my twitter](https://twitter.com/milkmurk)


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